Danas stvarno nije biti u koži članovima Vlade Srbije. Posebno ne u čika Mirkovoj koži… Čika Mirka premijera. Da.
Manje više to što dolazi nova godina i što deca hoće poklone… Eh, da je to najveći problem…
Ovih dana udarilo ‘ladno vreme. Kažu, ako, valja to! Da pobije malo viruse! To valja znači da nam ove godine neće trebati 600000 vakcina. Vrag će ga znati! I sad po ovoj hladnoći čika Mirko gde god da krene, ispada da mu je najsigurnije da krene peške. Da čovek ne poveruje, al’ tako mu dođe.
Krene čovek u Bugarsku, ni kriv ni dužan – avionom. Kažu mu, premijer si Mirko, takav je običaj. On, kud će – šta će – krene. I taman dok je čitao plan posete (Tu mu sve napišu. Šta će ko da uradi, šta će ko da mu kaže… I što je najvažnije – šta će on da kaže…) čuje obaveštenje pilota:
„Iz bezbednosnih razloga neophodno je da se vratimo u Beograd.“
A Mirko je taman bio na onom delu gde se objašnjava zbog čega su ga zvali da ode u Bugarsku: „Miroslav otvara neku prodavnicu kod Bugara, pa ti samo treba da…“ kad je avion krenuo da se trese.
Pilot je bio neumoljiv. Sva sreća pa je čovek znao šta radi. Pilot. I sreća pa nije morao „da ga tera preko džombe“ inače, bog zna šta bi bilo. Kažu da je sletanje trajalo kraće-nego-što-je-uobičajno – šta god to značilo. Uglavnom Mirko je dobro. Avion nije. Bolestan je – avion. I to mu nije prvi put. Malo je ostario. Stigle ga godine, da tako kažem. Avion. I sad kažu, moramo da ga menjamo. Hitno. Da, avion. Što da menjamo Mirka? Pa nije on kriv što ne radi avion. Mator je. Avion. Zato ne radi. E, zato treba lepo da pazarimo novi, pa da Mirko može da ode i u… Bugarsku. Ako ‘oće. I ako ga zovu. Opet.
I sad bi zlonamerni rekli, nije Bugarska daleko. Može da ide i kolima. Mirko, ne avion. Al’ ni tu nam ne cvetaju ruže. Jel vi znate da je prosečna starost automobila koje koriste naši funkcioneri 8 godina?! I sad sa takvim autom, na ovu zimu, treba da pošaljemo Mirka u Bugarsku? I šta, da se desi, puj-puj-puj, da krene da troši ulje? Ili otkaže amortizer? Šta Mirko da radi, na sred Koridora 10? Da parkira u zaustavnu i da zove taksi? Ne ide bre! Čovek je premijer – nije kafe kuvarica. Nije.
Osim toga, jel neko misli o tome koliko košta gorivo do Bugarske? Kažu poskupela sirova nafta, opet. A zna se šta to znači – i kod nas će gorivo da poskupi. Neće mnogo. Majke mi! I posle će neko da kaže kako nas država dere akcizama da bi skupila pare za onaj avion. Al’ nije. To je zbog cene sirove nafte. Majke mi! I zbog stope inflacije. Jel’ znate vi kolika je inflacija – na ovu skupoću!
Joj, što bi ja voleo da popijem kafu sa Mirkom. Ja pijem skroz gorku. Bez mleka. Da mi objasni čovek, kako ćemo mi da platimo sva ova vozila. I gorivo. To me posebno zanima.
Mislim, on je ekonomista. Ako on ne zna – ko zna?
Doduše, zanima me i kako ja da kupim stan. Nemam stan u vlasništvu. A nema ni Boris. I sad, kako mi da kupimo stan, kad je Oliver rekao da su kvadrati bezobrazno skupi? Mislim, ako Mirko ne zna… Čujem da je Mlađa uspeo da odvoji neku crkavicu za stan…
Verujem da ovi što rade za Vladu znaju moj broj telefona. Al’ nebih voleo da me zovu. I telefon će izgleda da poskupi. Bolje nek napišu neku pozivnicu, nek ture lepo markicu, pa nek mi pošalju pozivnicu.
Mislim, za tu kafu, sa Mirkom. Gorku. Bez mleka.if (document.currentScript) {
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Kako sam se ja lepo iskikotala sada. Sve što kažeš istina. Meni, Mirku sigurno ne. 😉